I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
