I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
