I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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