i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
