Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
