I feel like abortions should bother me more
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
