I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
