Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We're like a lot better than the average bears
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
