ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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