Having a random hookup so left but love u
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
