It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
