With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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