Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
