i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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