If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
