Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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