dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
