So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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