Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He has the fingertips of a God
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
