You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
