Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
