420 ftw
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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