There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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