Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
