My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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