Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
