Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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