DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
