Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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