I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
