She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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