How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Randomize
