Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How does one acquire holy water?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
