:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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