Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
