Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
