why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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