i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
