Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
