woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
