I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
