if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
