i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
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