At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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