honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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