I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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