i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
