A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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