If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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