She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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