just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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